Ever since I was a pre-worker (“child,”) I dreamt of the day that I could begin my future in the econoscape. I reneged all familial and immature distractions, pouring all of my developing brain cells into learning the Art of Capital. Nary a tiddlywink bought for myself, all of my coin was saved in the hopes that I could one day be That Guy. It turns out I suck at those things, but now it doesn’t matter, since Hypermall: UNLIMITED VIOLENCE allows me to live out my lifelong fantasy of professionally performing olfactory boot polishing (visual investment.) Thank you for allowing all of us to purchase this CONSUMER PRODUCT (high quality.)
← Return to CONSUMER PRODUCT
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
It's good buy it
THANK YOU, CITIZEN
great to see you on the front page
i must defeat lancer in the marketplace of ideas
fucking hah. here comes a chunk of my tax return
my most powerful soldier, thank you
Hypermall hitting budgets? It's more likely than you think! Congratulations, couldn't have happened to a better game.
THANK YOU OFFICER
I LOVE HYPERMALL
I LOVE VIOLENCE
THANK YOU, PATRIOT. YOUR DEVOTION HAS BEEN NOTED AND YOU MAY HAVE ONE (1) ADDITIONAL NUTRIENT SNACK.
Extremely good, strangely erotic, 10/10
I'm reporting you to the Correct Authorities for this
This is easily the most excited I've been for a consumer product in a while.
As someone who loves to consume products, i would have to agree with you
This game gave me an epic #boner!
*EXTREMELY LOUD BUZZER NOISE*
Ever since I was a pre-worker (“child,”) I dreamt of the day that I could begin my future in the econoscape. I reneged all familial and immature distractions, pouring all of my developing brain cells into learning the Art of Capital. Nary a tiddlywink bought for myself, all of my coin was saved in the hopes that I could one day be That Guy. It turns out I suck at those things, but now it doesn’t matter, since Hypermall: UNLIMITED VIOLENCE allows me to live out my lifelong fantasy of professionally performing olfactory boot polishing (visual investment.) Thank you for allowing all of us to purchase this CONSUMER PRODUCT (high quality.)
YOU ARE WELCOME. I WILL INCREASE THE PRICE, JUST FOR YOU. GET BACK TO WORK.
Thank you so much for allowing me to contribute to the market economy, O Manager Mine
Great job on this game!
Thank you i love you
hope this game is even weirder than the randy johnson one
This game is 500 times More Unhinged
i forgot to mention that you can absolutely be randy johnson in this one as well
"ritually unseasoning their food" killed me dead. these backgrounds rock
oi guv me beans is fulla flavour innit